Choices have consequences?
Life is full of choices. Sometimes we make choices based on what we think we need to do to keep going for the moment, but as I have recently learned – all choices have consequences (even if we don’t feel them at the moment). I want to go back to 2010 where this journey begins. I twisted my ankle, but having done that many times before, I made the choice to just go along with my regular business. A few days later things seemed to have returned to normal, the pain was gone, and I was moving as I had been – or so I thought.
Life is full of choices
Sometimes we make choices based on what we think we need to do to keep going for the moment, but as I have recently learned – all choices have consequences (even if we don’t feel them at the moment).
I want to go back to 2010 where this journey begins. I twisted my ankle, but having done that many times before, I made the choice to just go along with my regular business. A few days later things seemed to have returned to normal, the pain was gone, and I was moving as I had been – or so I thought.
Some time passed before I realized that my left ankle was giving a bit more than my right. I noticed this while wearing shoes with less than stellar support, so I guess a part of me just chalked it up to poor choices in shoes. After time the ankle began to weaken and give way; however, there was still little pain, so I made the choice to continue going along with my regular business.
Finally, I went to see an orthopedic surgeon who determined an ankle replacement was needed but would not do such a procedure due to my weight. He recommended an ankle fusion as an alternate option, but I was just not willing to take that much time off work for recovery. I made the choice to fight through but did incorporate diet and exercise to cut down the weight. I also started wearing an ankle bandage for added support.
Things went along well until 2016 or so when I would notice more pain. While not constant or excruciating, the pain was more often than I wanted. One wrong step or a few paces on uneven ground brought certain reminders of the problem, but I made the choice to keep pushing. Nearly a year later I returned to the orthopedic surgeon asking about additional supports that may be helpful for my ankle. He referred me to a friend who made prosthetics and I had a brace made, but it only worked when wearing tennis shoes. Better than nothing, this worked out fairly well until the shoe began to breakdown.
I did some deep reflection about the situation and my circumstances. While diet and exercise had helped and I had lost some weight, it was not nearly enough for what I was dealing with. While the brace worked (even though it required purchasing new shoes at the first sign of wear), it was only helpful when wearing tennis shoes and a good part of my life is spent in work boots. But then it came to me, when I purchased new work boots my ankle did not hurt as much. The reflection led me to the choice to keep going, purchasing new work boots about every 3-4 months.
So, we are off to the races until 2019 when even the tennis shoe brace and new work boots are not providing much help. The choice was made to try some physical therapy to strengthen the ankle with some exercises. Little did I know I would end up trying an orthotic. That did not work, and I was getting a little beaten down at this point, so I did not even try to return them or look at other options.
The choice to push through the pain was not easy in the past, particularly while wearing boots on the job site. Even so, the idea of being down from work for six months was not something that I could comprehend. Then, it came to me – maybe the prosthetics guys can do something to help the work boot. “I do things like that for people all the time to keep them from walking on the side of their shoes” he said. And even more promising, wouldn’t you know the price to fix the boot was less than the first orthotic I got from physical therapy.
So, I get back in the saddle and am off riding again. I still have pain, but it is bearable. I carry on like this for a good while; alternating between two pairs of boots with an external brace to prevent my ankle from giving away and a large brace to support the ankle when wearing tennis shoes. Having to get the boot brace redone every few months was timely but pretty cost effective and I was still able to keep working. I really appreciated times when I did not have to walk around, but still working, nonetheless.
Ankle X-Ray
Then comes year 2020 – the year of challenges, also the year I make the choice to get my ankle fused. I won’t make it to 65 like this and laying down is not an option (at least not one I want to choose). I did not get a leave of absence, so I was laid off. Due to the ice storm in February we had to delay the procedure but on the 12th of March I had the ankle fusion surgery and it was a success. Made me wonder why I did not make the choice early.
What was supposed to take 6-8 weeks to heal has been more like 6 months. I ended up staying in the hospital for 5 days waiting for a bed to open in the rehab unit. Once moved to rehab I made a choice to work hard, commit to the effort and do my part to heal properly. I met some wonderful people who encouraged me and took great care of me. The days were long and hard, it seemed like March 30th would never come, but I made it to discharge day! Equipped with all the medical equipment a person could need for successful recovery (thanks in part to some great family members), I was headed home for some rest, healing and hopefully a little extra study time with my bible.
The wounds took a bit longer, but by May they were healed, what a blessing. Home health and Physical Therapy continued to build strength and expand my capacity to do more things independently. Being released to get out of the wheelchair more and use my foot (with limited pressure and body weight) made me realize how far I had come. It also made me think about how long I had waited, making many choices that had taken me down many other roads. This road feels like the one to full recovery now. My hope is that with the next visit to the Podiatrist I will be released to walk with full body weight.
I will say this has been a journey. Looking back I realize that with each choice I made there was a consequence. I also look back and realize that God kept me (even carried me) through this time. My wife has been solid since the very beginning. She has shown great resilience and confidence, I can only imagine the relief she will feel when this is all over. We will always press through, knowing that with each choice there are consequences, but trusting in God’s faithfulness to see us through.
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